Why Every Child Needs Self Defense

Happy Tuesday!  As usual, it's been ages since I've updated my personal blog, but, I've been a little busy making a baby!  You can read all about our gestational surrogacy journey here.

As you all know, I am an avid HLN viewer.  When I go to bed early to watch "my shows" in my bedroom (because every other television in the house is occupied), I tune in to watch Jane Valez-Mitchell, Nancy Grace, and Dr. Drew (in that order).  George used to make fun of my for my HLN addiction as he and the children would laugh at me as I did my "crime fighting."  But, with the recent news of the horrendous murder of 10-year-old Jessica Ridgeway, the jokes have ceased.  You can learn all about Jessica's story as well as five drills every child must know here.

This poor, innocent child was abducted, murdered, and dismembered during her very short walk to her bus stop in the morning on her way to school.  Her mother works the night shift, and, she did what so many of us do - she watched her daughter walk to the bus stop, and, once her child passed a set of bushes that obstructed her view, she turned around and went to bed as most employees working the graveyard shift do.  What Jessica's mother didn't know was that a predator kidnapped her child the instant she passed those bushes, leading to her horrendous murder.  Instead, Jessica's mother assumed her daughter had safely reached her destination, and, she returned to her home to sleep.  As Jessica's mother was sleeping, her school called to tell her mother that Jessica had never arrived at school that day.  However, as Jessica's mother was sleeping before her next evening work shift, she did not receive the message until the school day was already over.

It is important to note that Jessica's mother is not a suspect or person of interest in this horrible crime.  With that said, I'll be the first to confess that I used to watch my daughter walk to her bus stop from my driveway.  I could see the bus stop from my driveway as it was only a few houses down my road.  But, I just had an awakening.  What could I have done if an abductor approached that bus stop as I was standing in my driveway several houses away?  It's likely I wouldn't have been able to do much due to my distance from my child.  Lesson learned.

Let's face it - we can't have our eyes on our children 24/7.  If you find me someone with eyes on the back and sides of their heads, let me know and I'll modify this post.  So, what do we do to prepare our children for those moments when our children aren't with us, and God forbid, a predator approaches?  I can only have three options for this, but if you have more send them my way and I'll post them.

1. Do nothing.
2. Trust that your child's cell phone will somehow save him or her should a predator approach.
3. Enroll your child in self-defense class to give them a fighting chance at fleeing.

I don't know about you, but, I'm going with option number three.  Thankfully, my son has been in martial arts for years, and, he's a brown belt in tae kwon do.  Still, a few friends and I took our daughters and my son to a self-defense class a few weeks ago. 

Some lessons we learned include:

1. How to escape when an attacker is strangling you before you pass out and can't do anything.
2. How to escape a headlock and a full nelson.
3. How to break your attacker's nose and leg in just a few seconds.
4. Most importantly, how to escape and run to safety.

I know a few parents who think self-defense class is an unnecessary expense, and, this truly saddens me.  We've all enrolled our children in swimming lessons (another critical class but I'll save that for later), little league sports, school sports, etc.  But, how many have actually spent a nominal fee to help their children learn how to protect themselves?  The number is staggeringly low.  In hindsight, I hope this post helps some parents take a step back and say, "Hmm...teaching my child a skill that could save his or her life is more important than baseball."

Because predators scare the crap out of me, I reached out to the owner of my son's martial arts studio, Mr. Sean.  I took my daughter and stepdaughter for a self-defense class, and, we were joined by two of my friends and their daughters.  My son came with us, and, I thought he could learn some valuable lessons from the course.  Well, I quickly learned his tae kwon do training is paying off - he had to help teach us rookies how to properly hit, kick, and most importantly, stay calm in regaining control after an attacker has gotten a hold of us.

I was so impressed (and sore!) from this class that I asked Mr. Sean if he would be willing to give me any sort of group discount if I returned with more students.  I did this for a few reasons.  First of all, I could tell that as much as we all learned that day, we still have a way to go.  I don't think self-defense is something you can learn in one class; It takes repetition, and, some confidence building as well.  I'm sure you'll agree that remaining calm while being strangled may not be the easiest thing to do.

To my complete shock, Mr. Sean offered me a group rate that was so fantastic, I almost peed.  He agreed to offer the following:

1. A package of four self-defense classes.
2. Each class is one hour long (that's four hours of self-defense instruction).
3. An amazing discount.  The total cost of this program?  $35.00.
4. Mr. Sean is willing to work with us to find a day and time that accommodates everyone.  He even offered to host the class immediately after school to accommodate children who have commitments in the evenings.

Now, believe me, this is not a sales pitch on my part.  The only thing I have to gain from helping to coordinate this class is the comfort of knowing our kids are being taught some kick ass skills to at least give them a chance at escaping a predator.  As I noted, I took the class myself, and, even I'm going back.  Predators aren't limited to targeting children - women make good prey as well.

If you're interested in participating in this group class please send me a message.  If you have another school you'd prefer to go to, awesome!  I don't care where you go...I'm just begging you to please attend training somewhere. If you do attend a class somewhere, let me know!  If I know this post sent one child to a self-defense class, mission accomplished.

IT'S TIME TO FIGHT BACK!!!

What is WRONG with People?

Hello folks!

Sorry...long time, no blog.  I've been so busy with the store and updating my newest blog which documents our surrogacy journey - I promise to try to do better!  Please visit our surrogacy blog here and follow us - we love sharing our story with as many people as possible and want to educate everyone we can reach on the gestational surrogacy process to help readers understand gestational surrogacy, how such science actually works, and how far from unusual gestational surrogacy is.  Check it out - it's a great read and we update it often!

Anyway, this evening I endured a wretched experience that I just had to share with my friends in cyber space!  It's a doozie...feel free to stop reading now and grab an adult beverage...don't worry...I'll be here waiting when you return!

You're probably wondering what has my panties in a bunch, so, I'll cut to the chase.  Tonight I took Nick to his tae kwon do class, and, I was one of the few parents who chose to stay for the class as I have to for the next four weeks while he recovers from his concussion.  It was actually a big day for us - this was his first day back in tae kwon do since he developed a concussion two weeks ago.  We were looking forward to him receiving the red belt he tested for just a few days before his injury, and, we walked into the studio filled with excitement over Nick's latest accomplishment.  

Nick removing his purple belt and replacing it with his new red belt.  Congrats Nick!

The class began with Nick's belt ceremony.  I was so thrilled - as someone always manages to block my view of Nick receiving his newest belt, the owner of the martial arts studio offered the sacred mat to me for picture taking.  So, I slipped off my flip-flops and crawled onto the mat with my iPhone so I could take pictures of this special moment.

After Nick received his new belt, I returned to my seat to watch his class and make sure he was feeling okay.  As I was walking back to my seat I could hear another mother screaming at her child about "how stupid she is" for mixing up her chest protector with another child's.  This was an honest, common mistake.  This child is about five years old and a student in the school's white belt class; Surely she's just adapting to even being responsible for her gear - at least she remembered to grab a chest protector, even if it wasn't hers!  If I had only a nickel for every time my children have mixed up some sort of sporting apparel or gear, I'd be rich - it just happens so often.  And, you know, isn't locating missing items all a part of parenting?  Anyway, the chest protector issue was resolved immediately, and, this crisis ended about five minutes after it began.

Now, for whatever reason, karate mom's rage continued, and, the instructors on the mat were becoming visibly upset.  Mommy was screaming at her child at the top of her lungs, and, the students in Nick's class couldn't hear a word their instructors were saying because of this woman's outburst.  The parents who were there to watch Nick's class all looked at each other in shock at what was unfolding.  To make matters worse, the owner of the studio was in a closed-door meeting with another parent, so, he had no idea what was occurring in his place of business.

Wanting to be tolerant, I bit my lip and tried to watch Nick's class.  Unfortunately, there was nothing to watch as the instructors could not get past their opening stretches due to this woman's scream-fest.  Finally, I had enough when she screamed to her children, "Jesus Christ shut up!!!"  Now, the first thought that popped into my mind was my faith - I am a God-loving Christian, and, that exclamation was disgusting in its own right.  But the fact that it was directed towards such young children?  Appalling...my patience disappeared when my Lord's name was used in vain to scream at scared, young little girls over something as minor as a gear mix-up.  Not to mention, I don't speak like that in front of my own children - why would I want them to hear it in a school that highly promotes discipline?

So, I stood up from my chair and turned around to face karate mom.  I very calmly said, "Excuse me, they're trying to have a class."  That's it - I said nothing more and turned back around to return to my seat.  I figured any adult with an ounce of common sense would realize it was time to stop screaming, but not this mom. Instead, she retorted with, "EXCUSE ME, I'M JUST TRYING TO GET MY SHIT TOGETHER!!!"  The other parents and I exchanged shocked glances at each other, but, we all chose to ignore the nonsense.  After all, I am friends with the owner of the studio, and not to mention, I figured my son would be mortified watching his mother get into a shouting match with a clear lunatic.

Unbelievably, Mommy decided she still wasn't finished yelling.  She went on to scream at her young children, "We're never coming back to this place full of asshole parents."  At that point, my new-found patience disappeared again, and, I responded to karate mom with, "Now I know you didn't just call me an asshole."  Trust me - I am a very sweet, loving person.  However, I have a heart of gold and a spine of steel - if you bark at me, rest assured I will bite back.

After I kindly dropped my hint to karate mom that she should not refer to me as an "asshole" she finally grabbed her poor kids and drug them out of the martial arts studio, forcefully pushed them into her car, and drove away looking a tad worse than miserable.

Immediately after, the owner of the studio came out of his office and I explained what happened.  I wanted him to know who the "asshole" parent was in case karate mom tried to complain to him.  Needless to say, he was not happy, and, he told me I should have followed this woman outside!  Of course I wouldn't do such a thing - maybe in my heyday, but certainly not at the age of 35.  If anything, I'm too vain and didn't want to get punched in the face.

In the end, the owner of the martial arts studio chose to call Mommy to tell her she called the wrong parent an "asshole" and that she owed me an apology.  That, I thought was funny, but this entire debacle?  Disgusting.

First of all, there is the obvious problem here - what mother screams such obscenities at such young children?  Secondly, what mother screams said obscenities in front of other children such as my son and his classmates who were *trying* to prepare for their next belt test.  And finally (and perhaps most ironic), who on earth would yell such obscenities in a martial arts studio where a black belt is standing everywhere you look?!  I may have a brass set, but even I wouldn't stir up trouble knowing I was surrounded by people who can break a pile of bricks with their hands and make it seem painless!

So, in summary, I must ask, "What is wrong with some people?"  Why on earth would someone behave that way?  How is someone, let alone a mother, so disrespectful to her own children, the students who were subjected to her foul language, parents, and instructors covered in black belts?  What on earth made this mother feel entitled to scream curse words without giving it a second thought?

Sadly, I'm pretty sure there are tons of parents out there just like karate mom.  I like to refer to such behavior as a false sense of entitlement - for whatever reason, this mother and others like her feel it's just their world and we're all fortunate enough to be living in it.

I am curious to see what your thoughts are on this debacle.  Please post your comments below - I can't wait to hear from my readers, especially those who are parents.  So, post away!  Please remember you won't see your comment post immediately, but, I am good at approving comments and I promise I will approve all comments as soon as I receive them!

Cheers!

Suzi

What Has my Bras in a Bunch?

Well, this week was certainly a roller coaster!  Thank you, Susan G. Komen for the Cure, for opening our eyes to what's really going on in your world of  pink power suits, hidden agendas, and abuse of donor funds.

I know, I know...the fine ladies at Komen have reversed their decision to refuse funding to Planned Parenthood.  All is now fine in the world and pink ribbons are back in style...but not in my world.

This week has taught me a lot about Komen for the Cure and what the organization does with its donor funds.  A short list includes:

• Filing lawsuits against any charitable organization that uses the words, "For the Cure."  "Aids for the Cure," you're screwed.  Why?  Because the pink sorority sisters fear the words "For the Cure" are confusing to donors.  Yep, if we're donating to "Aids for the Cure," we've somehow been duped into thinking we donated to "Susan G. Komen for the Cure."  You know...because we can't read or differentiate the stark contrast between a red ribbon and a pink one.  Total lawsuit expenditure: approximately $1,000,000.
• A huge salary to Komen's CEO, Nancy Brinker.  Yes, my friends, we are funding her annual salary of $489,000 per year.  
• Komen refuses to acknowledge there is a link between BPA and cancer despite extensive scientific research to validate this relationship.  Why?  Komen isn't saying, but it is worth noting one of the organization's largest donors manufactures products that rely on BPA.  Ironic, isn't it?
• With her annual salary that is just a few bucks shy of a half a million dollars a year, Nancy Brinker provides significant donations to the Republican party, and, even served as an ambassador to Hungary during Bush 43's administration.  So, put two and two together.  Your donations are funding Brinker's salary, and, she's donating to politics with the salary you're funding.  Cha-ching!

I'm sure you're wondering why I care.  Well, let's begin with my mother, who was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 53.

The day my mother received her diagnosis, my sisters and I accompanied her to the doctor's office so we could all receive the news together.  After learning what the next two years of our mother's life would be like, the next step was our induction into the "Breast Cancer Club".  Our entry prize?  A pink ribbon pin...at least it wasn't flimsy and made of ribbon...it was Avon's version of a pink metal pin - strong enough to endure the elements as we wore our pins on our winter coats in the snow, attached them to our purses on nights out, etc.

People often say, "But Komen has made breast cancer so easy to treat."  Sure...if your version of a walk in the park includes nine rounds of grueling chemotherapy administered through a surgically implanted pump in the chest, losing every hair on your body, a mastectomy followed by reconstructive surgery, and blood-filled drainage tubes attached to your body to collect the drippings released from lymph node removals and that pleasant mastectomy, then hey - you've got it made when it comes to breezily beating breast cancer!  Don't forget about those two pesky pulmonary embolisms my mother experienced and the lung condition B.O.O.P. chemotherapy left her with.  How could I forget?!

And of course, there is my friend Weezy (her real name is Louise, but, I don't think I've ever called her that once in my life).  Weezy is my age, and, had breast cancer once a few years back.  At that time, Weezy was diagnosed with Stage I breast cancer - an easy cure - hooray!  Well, faster than you can say, "remission," Weezy developed a second, different form of breast cancer.  This time, the mood wasn't as festive.  Weezy's cancer was Stage IV (terminal), and, she now deals with indignities such as fighting the FDA to approve the drug that is keeping her alive for the purpose for which it  has been prescribed...to keep Weezy alive.

Ever since my mother's breast cancer diagnosis, my family has gone to great lengths to contribute to the Susan G. Komen Foundation.  We thought we were paying it forward; we thought we were supporting my mother.  We've walked down at the art museum, and, my dad even shaved his head bald once as a dare - if he reached his fundraising goal for his walk at the Jersey Shore, he promised to shave his head bald.  So, donate we did, and, off went Dad's hair.  Whenever any of my friends have participated in a Komen walk, run, what have you, I have always whipped out my checkbook without giving it a second thought.  No more.

It's become clear Komen has veered terribly off course.   A promise that was made to a dying 36 year old to rid the world of breast cancer has turned into a marketing phenomenon.  Who could forget Komen's partnership with Yoplait yogurt to raise funds "for the cure."  For every Yoplait yogurt top a donor mailed in, 10 cents were donated to Komen for the Cure, though the postage cost for doing so was 37 cents at the time.  Don't forget the cost of that yogurt you had to buy to obtain your contribution worthy lids!

In short, I feel duped.  I made these donations because I thought I was doing the right thing.  I thought I was supporting women like my mother and Weezy in their fight against breast cancer.  Instead, I was contributing to a political machine dedicated to only funding programs members of the far right approved of.  I'm mad, I'm upset, and, I'm hurt.  No more.

This week, I made my first donation online to Planned Parenthood.  Thankfully, the public's common sense took over in this instance, and, before Komen pathetically apologized for the error of their ways, the American public came through and gave Planned Parenthood the funds they were denied on Tuesday.  So, now Planned Parenthood will benefit from a double whammy - they have our donations, and, they'll soon be receiving Komen's as well.  Planned Parenthood was the clear winner in this debacle.

But what about Komen's stand on stem cell research?  Well, it seems Komen executive Karen Handel has it covered.  Though Handel is not a physician or a scientist, she evidently knows more than researchers at Johns Hopkins University and doesn't see the benefit of embryonic stem cell research.  In Handel's mind, stem cell donations from living adults are sufficient enough.

So, when I see Facebook statuses asking if it is safe to wear pink again, my answer is a profound, "no."  Komen's derailment extends far beyond the events of this week, and, it's actually a blessing this most recent PR nightmare occurred, as it encouraged many women, like me, to conduct further research into the organization.

Going forward, all of my cancer related donations will be headed towards the American Cancer Society.  You can donate too here.

For your viewing pleasure, I've attached two videos to support my de-funding of Susan G. Komen for the Cure.  I beg of you to preview them.

The first is a trailer of the upcoming feature film, Pink Ribbons.  This film is aimed to give viewers a sneak peak of what really goes on behind the scenes of Susan G. Komen for the Cure.

Next up is a video by Linda, a breast cancer warrior who bares all to show the world what breast cancer "is and is not."  It's tough to watch, but hang in there; the last line is classic.

God bless every woman battling this horrendous disease.

25 Things You Don't Know About Me

I know...I am the worst blogger...ever!  I promise I'll try to do better and post more often!

Now that apologies are out of the way, I've noticed that many bloggers have been taking a page out of of Us Magazine's "25 Things You Don't Know About Me" feature.  I had to join in the fun, though I'm such a chatter box most of these things will likely not be too shocking.  Still, enjoy!  Even better?  Post a comment telling me something I don't know about you!

1) I am left-handed.  My handwriting is so terrible that I type everything...even notes I stick inside greeting cards.

2) My hair has many grays and is naturally wavy/on the verge of curly.  I color it every four weeks, and, I straighten it after every wash.

3) I'm addicted to delicious smelling laundry.  I've taught my husband and the kids how to do laundry, and, my 11 year-old son does it the best.  You can smell his laundry from across the room!

4) I use Vaseline for my Crow's Feet.  Best, most affordable wrinkle reducer around.

Smile big when applying to get in all the nooks and crannies!

 5) I love car shopping.  I'm currently on my fifth vehicle in six years.

7) My currently vehicle is not cool.  I am a minivan mom.

Chrysler Town & Country

8) I'm addicted to water.  I drink at least 6-8 bottles a day.

9) I love pit bulls.  I used to pee at the sight of them until I adopted one who was due to be euthanized.  Going forward I plan to always have a rescued pit bull in my house.

Her name is Jolie-Pitt (like Brad & Angelina...or Jolie the pit bull)

10) I am the clumsiest person you'll ever meet.  I'd say I visit the ER four times a year due to injury.

11) I love Nancy Grace.  I agree that she can be controversial, but if something ever happened to someone I love, she'd be the first person I'd call for help.

12) George and I are in the process of having a baby via gestational surrogacy.  At the latest, we're hoping to be pregnant by April.  If I have a girl, she must hit the town in this carseat cover.

Want one?  I sell these at my boutique!

13) I sleep with a Pillow Pet every night.  My mother had this thing with ladybugs, so, my sister bought me a ladybug Pillow Pet for my 34th birthday.

My Pillow Pet, Susan

14) I am domestically challenged, but I insist that my vehicles always be spotless inside.

15) I love Original Terra chips.  They are my absolute fave.

16) I make a mean chicken casserole, known in our family as "Chicken Junk."

17) I believe in Mediums and meet with them regularly to talk to my mother.

18) I'm addicted to Words with Friends.

19) I was in a car accident that left me with a cadaver disc in my spine which is fused with a titanium plate and screws.

20) I have no tolerance for people who are rude to the wait staff at restaurants.

21) I'm addicted to hand cream and lip balm.

22) Homemade gifts from my kids make the best presents ever.

Maddy made this for me - LOVE!

23) I love the Phillies and have Phillies hats, shirts, jackets, and sweats in every style.

24) I only wear Asics sneakers, and, I have a pair to match every outfit I own.

25) I was born on Abraham Lincoln's birthday.  That was my claim to fame until my younger sister was born two years after me...and her birthday is two days after mine, on Valentine's Day.  Middle child syndrome, anyone?